Most of the time, I am completely fine. 80% of the time I am completely happy and looking towards the future. 80% of the time, my past is in the past and I barely think about it. But then there are those moments where it all comes back and I just want to lay in the fetal position and feel bad for myself. One second I'll be so happy, just laughing with my new friends...and then the next second something reminds me and I fall to pieces on the inside. I see someone that looks just like him and I almost use the wrong name. I see some picture on Facebook and I'm just a complete disaster. Oh and if I watch that Air New Zealand hobbit-themed flight safety video again, someone better bring me a box of tissues because I will lose it. Yet, it is so frickin weird that as I am writing this, I feel perfectly fine. I'm not sad at all. Basically, emotions are just really strange. I work in a psychology lab that studies emotion and I still barely understand them.
I know I'll be fine...but, I'm still waiting for it to stop hurting. I'm getting impatient.
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