Warriors

Sometimes I listen to podcasts for fun and a few months ago I listened to one about happiness. A speaker revealed the true key to happiness. He said, "The key to happiness is low expectations."

There is a lot of truth in this statement. If you have low expectations, it becomes almost impossible to be disappointed. I'm definitely feeling a lot of disappointment right now. Occasionally I wish that I had no expectations for life or for love. How easy would things be if I didn't expect to find my true love? I guess it would probably save a lot of heartbreak, but it would also take away a lot of happiness.

I'm often pretty hard on myself for being so emotional. I am well aware that I fall very hard and very fast. Heck, after losing a guy that I have only known for three days or three weeks I spend the night in tears. It would sure be way easier if I wasn't so emotional. It all comes back to expectations. If I expected these little college flings to amount to nothing, I wouldn't be so surprised or hurt when they fail. If I didn't expect each "perfect" guy to be "the one" then I wouldn't be so upset when they inevitably let me down.

It seems like it is always too good to be true. Except one day it won't be. One day, reality will be as good as my dreams. Last night I was almost ready to just give up on love entirely. I realize how extreme that is but a devastated girl will often go to extremes. But me giving up on love would be like me giving up on breathing. Loving is essential to who I am. As many times as I get burned, I could not stop loving if I tried.

The good news here is that my friends are the easiest people to love. Honest to God, I would be lost without my friends. Last night was the roughest night I have had in awhile. One friend heard me bawling in the other room and ran to me. Another held me while I cried. Another made me laugh my ass off. Another stood up for me when I was powerless. Another let me walk in to her room, no questions asked. Even friends that are states away were there for me. This isn't the first time either. Any time there is a bump in my road, my friends carry me over it.

Not to be cheesy (although I do love cheese), but love really is a battlefield. My girls are my warriors. I would surely lose the battle without them. There is no one else I would rather have by my side as I take on this crazy world.

Since last night, there has been one quote that has been sticking out in my mind. It is one of my favorites of all time and I have probably used this Carrie quote before, but it is too fitting to not use here.

From one writer to another: "Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with."

We have to be warriors, but an army of one will never win. That is why I will continue to rely on the women I love when I am too weak to carry my own sword.