A Brief Lesson on the GOP

I was motivated by tonight's GOP debate to spend the day doing research and expanding my knowledge. Here are some of the things I have found. Sadly, I have barely glossed the surface. My apologies that I had to stop to be productive doing other things. I started at www.ontheissues.org and then tracked down the real sources too. I've done some of the research for you. All you have to do is read what I wrote. I have left out my opinion in the name of education. Please let me know if you want links because I will gladly provide them.

Ben Carson (on homosexuality): "Carson had asserted Wednesday morning on CNN's "New Day" that homosexuality is a choice because people 'go into prison straight -- and when they come out, they're gay,'" (CNN Mar 2015).

Ted Cruz (on VAWA): Ted Cruz was one of 22 to senators to vote against the reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act because “the law is an unnecessary overreach by the federal government, and that it represents a "feminist" attack on family values.” (The Atlantic Feb 2013). VAWA’s key provisions include requiring college campuses to educate students about gender-based violence, preventing LGBT victims from discrimination, grant funding for law enforcement, prosecutors, and victims of sexual assault, youth violence prevention, and alternate housing options for victims (whitehouse.gov Feb 2013).

Mike Huckabee (on homosexuality): “Public debate today is filled with arguments that, not long ago, would have been dismissed as ridiculous and insupportable. Consider homosexuality, for instance. There have been homosexuals in every human culture. But until recently, who would have dared to suggest that the practice should be accepted on equal footing with heterosexuality?” (from his book, “Character Makes A Difference”, 2007).

Mike Huckabee (on gay adoption): “‘Children are not puppies. This is not a time to see if we can experiment and find out, how does this work? You don't go ahead and accommodate every behavioral pattern that is against the ideal. That would be like saying, well, there are a lot of people who like to use drugs, so let's go ahead and accommodate those who want who use drugs. There are some people who believe in incest, so we should accommodate them. There are people who believe in polygamy, so we should accommodate them.’” (Huff Post June 2010). Side note: “Children of same-sex couples fare better when it comes to physical health and social well-being than children in the general population, according to researchers at the University of Melbourne in Australia,” (Washington Post July 2014).

Mike Huckabee (on birth control): “"If the Democrats want to insult the women of America by making them believe that they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of the government, then so be it," (Washington Post Jan 2014).

Rand Paul (on gay marriage and adoption): "If we have no laws on this people take it to one extension further. Does it have to be humans? I see the thousands-of-year tradition of the nucleus of the family unit. I also see that economically, if you just look without any kind of moral periscope and you say, what is it that is the leading cause of poverty in our country? It's having kids without marriage. The stability of the marriage unit is enormous and we should not just say oh we're punting on it, marriage can be anything." (MSNBC June 2013).

Rick Santorum (on gay marriage): "If the Supreme Court says that you have the right to consensual [gay] sex within your home, then you have the right to bigamy, you have the right to polygamy, you have the right to incest, you have the right to adultery. You have the right to anything. Does that undermine the fabric of our society? I would argue yes, it does.” (Associated Press April 2003).

Rick Santorum (on homosexuality and sodomy): “I have no problem with homosexuality. I have a problem with homosexual acts. I have absolutely nothing against anyone who's homosexual. If that's their orientation, then I accept that. The question is, do you act upon that orientation? So it's not the person, it's the person's actions. We have sodomy laws and they are there for a purpose. Because, I would argue, they undermine the basic tenets of our society and the family,” (USA Today April 2003). Side note: “Sodomy is defined as anal or oral intercourse between human beings, or any sexual relations between a human being and an animal, the act of which may be punishable as a criminal offense,” (legal-dictionary.com) (yes sodomy technically includes blow jobs).

Marco Rubio (on marijuana):  "Here's the problem with that question in American politics: If you say that you did and suddenly there are people out there saying 'Well, it's not a big deal. Look at all these successful people who did it. I don't want my kids to smoke marijuana. And I don't want other people's kids to smoke marijuana. I don't believe there's a responsible way to recreationally use marijuana,” (Huff Post May 2015).

Rick Santorum (on marijuana): “Colorado is violating the federal law. And if we have controlled substances, they're controlled substances for a reason. The federal law is there for a reason, and the states shouldn't have the option to violate federal law,” (Huff Post May 2015).

Donald Trump (on drugs): “I’ve never taken drugs of any kind, never had a glass of alcohol. Never had a cigarette; never had a cup of coffee,” (his book “The America We Deserve”, July 2000).

Ben Carson (on evolution and creationism): "Those of us who believe in God and derive our sense of right and wrong and ethics from God's word really have no difficulty whatsoever defining where our ethics come from. People who believe in survival of the fittest might have more difficulty deriving where their ethics come from,” (Washington Post May 2012).

Rick Santorum (on climate change): “Is the climate warming? Clearly over the past 15 or 20 years the answer is yes. The question is, number one, ‘Does man having a significant impact on that?’ And number two, and this is even more important than the first, ‘Is there anything the United States can do about it?’ And the answer is clearly, no. Even folks who accept all of the science by the alarmists on the other side, recognize that everything that's being considered by the US will have almost--well, not almost, will have zero--impact on it given what's going on in the rest of the world. Why would you do something and with people admitting that even if you do something, it won't make a difference?” (CNN Jan 2015). Side note: He also voted yes on defunding renewable and solar energy in 1999.

Donald Trump (on climate change, which by the way is not the same as weather): “It’s snowing & freezing in NYC. What the hell ever happened to global warming?” –Tweet from Mar 2013 “The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.” –Tweet from Nov 2012 “It's really cold outside, they are calling it a major freeze, weeks ahead of normal. Man, we could use a big fat dose of global warming!”—Tweet from Oct 2015

Rand Paul (on the environment): He voted no on “The National Endowment for the Oceans, Coasts, and Great Lakes Act would provide steady funding that universities, non-profit organizations, and government agencies can count on every year to support research and restoration projects. It would be funded primarily by dedicating 12.5% of revenues from offshore energy development, including oil, gas, and renewable energy. Revenue is generated through offshore lease sales and production based royalty payments. Funds from the Endowment would be distributed through a competitive grant program to fund projects to restore habitat, manage fisheries, plan for sustainable coastal development, enhance ocean monitoring and research activities, acquire coastal properties for preservation, and relocate critical coastal infrastructure.” Side note: Rubio and Cruz also voted no.

Donald Trump (on the EPA): “Environmental Protection, what they do is a disgrace. Every week they come out with new regulations,” (Huff Post Oct 2015).

Back To Crazy

Well, my summer in Denver is coming to a close. I think it was a pretty good summer; it was very relaxing. It may have been too relaxing...I was able to do my research (which is why I stayed here in the first place) and I worked at a restaurant for some extra money. I went to the gym almost every day because I had a great lack of excuses. But other than that, I had virtually no responsibility. Most of my days and nights were full of Netflix. I should have counted the hours I spent watching Netflix. It would be appalling to see that grand total. I finally watched all of Friends (Monica is my soul sister), I watched Dexter (Deb is my other soul sister), I finished the last season of Glee (and cried a lot), I also watched Blue Mountain State (hahahaha), and I fell madly in love with Once Upon a Time (and madly in love with Captain Hook). Now I'm halfway through 30 Rock. Not to mention that I caught up on my Disney movies, horror movies, and relationship and nature documentaries.

Despite the endless hours of TV, I also accomplished a few awesome things. I hiked two 14ers and conquered the Incline. I won a team race with my uncle (yay Uncie and the Munchkin!). I learned how to actually cook some edible food that isn't scrambled eggs and pancakes from a box. Best of all, I had time to myself. With that time, I taught myself how to be happy being alone. I gave some thought to my future and all I hope to accomplish. I think I've grown a lot this summer. I'm becoming an adult and learning how to actually survive with little help or supervision. So I watched a lot of Netflix, but I also know that this summer, I've become a different and better person.

But now, it's time for me to go back to my crazy fast paced life. Tomorrow morning I leave to return to the city of broad shoulders and damn how I have missed that place like crazy. A Portillo's hot dog, a Lou Malnati's pizza, Brookfield Zoo, the Lakefront...they're there waiting for me. I hope they haven't changed one bit. When I was living in Chicagoland, I was pretty indifferent about it. It took being away for me to realize just how fabulous Chi-Town really is. I also get to see my puppy, my family, my new nephew (technically cousin but whatever), my friends from high school, and many other people who I've missed too. The slow pace is over, because for the next 10 days my schedule is jam packed with family and friend fun.

After that, I get on a plane to Orlando with my mommy to see the ocean, Hogwarts, and I will finally be returning to the happiest place on Earth after all of these years. I guarantee that when I see that castle I will cry from being so happy.

From Orlando, it's pack to Denver. I'll move into my new dorm, start training for Orientation, and then I'll be trying to make it through Orientation. Hopefully, I'll have a positive impact on these incoming students and I just really hope that they love DU as much as I do.

From here on out, my life will be busy and hectic again. I'll probably have a few stress meltdowns and I may or may not cry a couple times, but I cannot wait to have it all back.

Loner

If this summer has taught me anything it's how to be alone. It hasn't been as bad as I thought it would be. I definitely miss my family and some people from high school, and I miss my college girls like hell. But I like to think that I've made the best of the situation.

I spend a lot of my time working in one of two psychology labs or at a restaurant, and the rest of my time is spent watching Netflix. Yet, I still get out there and do things that I want to do. I've seen movies by myself (Inside Out and Trainwreck--both were great). I've gone shopping by myself. I've eaten at restaurants by myself. I've even gone to the Denver Nature and Science Museum by myself.

Most recently, I couldn't find anyone to go see Hunter Hayes on the Wheels Up Tour with me, so I took matters into my own hands. There was no way in hell I was gonna miss Hunter. I drove out to the venue and spent a few minutes trying to find a good parking space. Luckily, I found a good one (for free) and then I literally ran up to the roof of a nearby parking garage. The parking garage was just tall enough to see over the back fence and I had a pretty great view of the stage. I could hear every word, as well. To make it even better, the sun was setting over the mountains right behind him. That's something I wouldn't have seen if I was actually in the perimeter of the venue. 

I'm really happy that I've taken the initiative to do whatever it is I want to do. I used to sit around and wait for other people and if I had no one to do something with, then I wouldn't do it. Now I do what I want and nothing stops me. All that being said, I can't wait for my squad to get back to Denver so I can get into trouble with my girls again. 

Adventure Time

While the greater part of my summer has been spent with my new best friend (Netflix), I have also been getting out there and enjoying this beautiful state. Most recently, I hiked my first 14ers and conquered the Incline.

During the first days of July, I was camping with my fabulous aunt and uncle. One of the good (and exhausting) things about them is that they always push me to get off my ass and actually do outdoorsy things. On the first day of camping, we climbed Mt. Sherman (14,035'). Honestly, it was not as bad as I expected. After summiting, a giant storm cloud began to appear. When you're on top of a mountain, you are a huge target for lightning so we hurried down. The top of the mountain was obviously very rocky, so hurrying is a lot more difficult than it sounds. The highlight of the climb came when Kona (their dog) slipped out of her leash and slid down a steep patch of snow. At first she just tried to run, but when her legs couldn't keep yup, she just slid for dear life. She seemed scared, but it was still so freakin' adorable.

The next day, we climbed Quandary Peak. This hike was more difficult, but I think that is just because my legs were a bit sore from the previous day. The trail was much more crowded because it was Friday and Quandary is more popular. There were mountain goats on the side of the trail and cute little mountain rodents running in and out of the rock. The view from the top was even better than Mt. Sherman. As bad as my legs hurt on the way up, the view at the finish line was completely worth it.

This past weekend I had a little impromptu trip to Colorado Springs to spend more time with my aunt and uncle that are (surprisingly) not sick of me yet. On the night that I arrived, we went over to Barr Trail. As my uncle was busy running and training for the Ascent, Ash and I hiked up for 40 minutes (about 2 miles) and then we ran all the way back to the car. It ended in a massive and disgusting blister on my foot, but running down a mountain trail was exhilarating.

The next morning, Ash and I went back to Manitou for my first go at the Incline. Looking at it from the bottom, it doesn't really look like that big of a deal. When I was told that it was only a mile, I figured ~oh it's just a mile that's no big deal at all~. Reality check: it was officially the worst and most difficult mile of my life. I seriously underestimated that baby. It was way harder than it looked. It kicked my ass, but then I kicked it back and made it to the top. The Incline is now added to the list of things I accomplished, but never thought I could.

I've been training for a half marathon, climbing 14ers, conquering the Incline...I really like the new version of me. As much as I sometimes hate any form of physical activity, it has really given me a new found confidence and appreciation. 

Let the adventures continue! But for now, it's back to Dexter. 

Love Wins

On this day, I am incredibly happy to be an American. Marriage equality is FINALLY a reality for all couples and it has been a long time coming. It's absurd to me that it has taken this long. Canada has had it legalized for over 10 years (just another reason why Canada is waaaay ahead of us). I am insanely excited for all of the loving couples that will now be accepted by every state. This also brings me hope that the LGBTQIA people I love will have relief from the persecution and hatred that they have endured throughout their lives.

I am ecstatic that the overwhelming opinion on this ruling is one of joy. Yet, there are still people out there who are upset and this often comes from religious reasons. My religion is very important to me and it always has been, but my beliefs tend to not match what is commonly preached by the Church. I firmly believe that if I was a lesbian, my God would still love and protect me just the same. I believe that God loves every single person on this planet if they are willing to love him back. These are just my beliefs, but the true fact of the matter is that religion has absolutely no place in determining the outcome of marriage equality. The Church does have the right to not marry same-sex couples under the law of God, but the Church has absolutely no right to deny these marriages under the law of America. Due to the cruelty and hatred portrayed by the Church on many occasions, I cannot imagine any same-sex couple wanting to be married in the Church anyway, so I don't think a gay couple asking to be married by a church would be a problem. When the Church interferes and says that same-sex marriage should not be allowed or worse when legislators use religion as support in their argument against it, we are attempting to force our beliefs onto others. When religion is used in government to support (or dissent) an argument, the faith is being compromised and imposed on other people. The same can be said for cases like abortion, which is why I have developed a completely non-religious argument for my beliefs on that issue. Catholicism and Christianity are a choice. Sexuality and love are not.

To those that say that same-sex marriage ruins the sanctity of marriage, I have a few words for you specifically. What about a person that has been divorced 3+ times? What about someone who cheats on his or her spouse and has an affair? What about someone who is married to a person they despise? Do these not ruin the sanctity of marriage? If marriage is truly about love, then allowing people who love one another to be married under the law only preserves its sanctity.

Today is a great victory for all Americans, gay, straight, and everywhere in between. Some people have waited their entire lives for this day and future Americans will be born into a country where love triumphs over labels. I could not be more grateful.

Snow

This post is dark and full of spoilers.
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As many of you are aware, I am beyond obsessed with Game of Thrones. TV show and books, fan theory, memorabilia, cosplay, and everything in between. If my body of knowledge was this vast in more important subject areas (like chemistry) I'd be a genius. I wish I could take a class on Game of Thrones. For now, I guess I'll just be content with it eating up all of my free time instead.

I have loved Ned, Drogo, Robb, Oberyn, Ygritte, and I was even a little sad when Renly had to go...but I have never been as devastated as I was on this finale. I was in utter shock when the beautiful and brooding Jon Snow seemed to be the next off the list...it hit me like an invisible semi-truck. I'm not sure why this was so sad...yes Jon is a gorgeous man, but he never had Drogo level looks and his personality pales in comparison to that of Oberyn. I think the thing here is that I am convinced that Jon is the only man that can save the morons of Westeros from the White Walkers. No one else is smart enough or brave enough to pull it off. Also, the conditions of his death are just awful. He was hoping for his Uncle and what he receives are a bunch of assholes stabbing him "for the watch" (clearly they don't understand that he went beyond the wall "for the watch"). Not to mention that little bastard Olly who killed Ygritte (my spirit animal) and then Jon. Olly, I hope you die.

Before jumping into my theory, I have just a few more comments about how stupid this whole thing is. Alliser Thorne is the stupidest person on the show for many, many reasons, but the one thing that everyone tends to overlook is the fact that wildings beyond the wall equals a larger army for the White Walkers. White Walkers have the power to not only kill, but resurrect the dead as wights, which are essentially minions that are under the White Walkers' control. Jon's plan to help the wildlings helps literally everyone because he is removing people from the White Walker army. The last thing that is needed is millions of wildlings being added to the White Walker army as wights. It's really not that difficult to understand if these crows would pull their stubborn heads out of their asses for a second.

[Important side note: the dead cannot be turned into White Walkers. All theories about Jon being turned into a White Walker are inherently wrong because it's impossible. White Walkers are a species. A dead man cannot be a White Walker just like a dead human can not be turned into an elephant. The dead are turned into wights (which are controlled by White Walkers) and that is it.]

It is quite possible that I am in the worst state of denial possible and I'm just too scared to admit that Jon is dead...but I really don't think this is the end for everyone's favorite bastard. So here's my theory. It combines knowledge from the books and the television show. R'hllor, I hope I'm right.

It is no coincidence that Melisandre showed up at Castle Black right before all of this went down. She is back for a reason. See, Melisandre has been under the impression that Stannis is really Azor Ahai, but recent evidence has shown that Jon may be Azor Ahai. About 8,000 years before what we are witnessing, the White Walkers were headed south as winter came. Azor Ahai fashioned a sword that harnessed magical powers when he stabbed his wife, Nissa Nissa, in the heart with it. His sword, Lightbringer, was able to defeat the White Walkers and save the seven kingdoms. He then built the Wall. A prophecy states that Azor Ahai will come again to end winter. Melisandre, at first, saw in her fires things that made her believe that Stannis was the savior. But, the fires have changed and now when Melisandre asks to see Azor, all she sees is Jon Snow. Which, (if the fires are to be trusted) means that Jon Snow is Azor Ahai. Jon Snow is the only one that can defeat the White Walkers and save humanity.

Also, we know that R'hllor (the Fire God) can resurrect people. Thoros of Myr has resurrected Beric Dondarrion six times with the help of his god. Melisandre is more powerful than Thoros so if Thoros can resurrect people I guarantee Melisandre can do it too. And if she truly believes that Jon is the chosen one, then she has no choice but to bring him back.

I know that Kit Harington has told the world that he is dead and not coming back. But clearly even if he was coming back he would have to say that he wasn't. If Kit was like "yeah I'll be back", then it would ruin the surprise and the show and clearly the writers can't let that happen. I'm not taking Kit's words as true right now, because they can't be.

Basically, Jon is our last hope so he can't be dead. Melisandre needs to save our boy. So kids, say your bedtime prayers to R'hllor tonight and maybe there will be some more Snow this winter.

A Year In Review

My freshman year of college has officially come to an end...and I am in total shock. I can't believe how quickly this year went by. I can't believe how different I am. I really can't believe how happy I am. There have been plenty of terrible things this past year, but I am grateful for them. Everything that has happened has made me the person that I am today and I have never been more happy. 

Let's start from the beginning. 

Move in day was the most chaotic day I have ever experienced. There were so many people everywhere and a line for the elevator almost out the door. It was super tiring, but I was able to begin making a home out of 706N with a little help. I remember on that first night we had a floor meeting. Many times I have looked back on that and tried to remember who said what and who did what, but I can't for the life of me remember. All I know is that those strangers from that meeting quickly became my best friends and family. 

That very first night, I went to my very first college party...with the hockey team. My friends and I joke about this night because it didn't go exactly as planned. We ended up literally running away from the party. To this day, this is one of my biggest regrets. So naive...but also hilarious. 

There is no way that I can avoid telling the story of how I met the best friend I've ever had...and it can all be attributed to Kit Harington. All I had to do was mention Game of Thrones and my Molls's eyes lit up. It wasn't long before I was rewatching the series with her on the floor of my room. From that first episode, I never would have imagined that she'd get me a giant Tyrion poster for my birthday, that we'd go watch the show in IMAX 3D, or that we'd go to Denver ComicCon dressed as Arya and Ygritte. Our love of GoT runs deep, but our love for each other runs deeper.

It would take an entire novel for me to share all of my great memories...but they're all in my mind and I wouldn't trade them for the world. All the hockey games we spent in the front row, all the Nagel lunch dates, the shit show that was Winter Carnival, our National Championship, all of our "boys", the nights we stayed in and the nights we went out with a bang, all the mornings that required a bit of debriefing, and every moment in between. 

This year was made great by so many things and it would be absurd not to say a few thank yous.

Thank you to my family (especially my mom) who helped get me to this point.

Thank you to my best friends who helped me make it through this year. I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me and our crazy times together are something I will always treasure.

Thank you to my professors who taught me a few things and didn't make school too miserable.

Thank you to my amazing roommate who always put up with my shit and understood that music, clean dishes, and air conditioning were a constant necessity.

Thank you to my church community on campus for keeping me in line and focused on what really matters.

Thank you to all of the "boys" that were regarded as celebrity sightings. I know you don't know who you are, but you were a big part of my friends' lives and mine, so thanks.

Thank you to those special guys that (hopefully) don't know that I'm in love with them and a special thanks to my friends who handled my weirdness.

Thank you to The Clarion that allowed me to get paid for writing and meet some amazing people. 

Thank you to the guys that broke my heart (and to the ladies that helped me pick up the pieces) because I am stronger and better without you.

Thank you to everyone that has loved me this past school year, because I love you too.

Thank you to everyone that will continue to be a part of my life in one way or another and to all the people I have yet to meet.

I cannot believe this year is almost over and I would give almost anything to relive all of it. Unfortunately, that's not how life works. But, if next year is anything like this year then it will be unbelievable. With a place like DU in a city like Denver with the friends I have made, I know the great memories will keep coming. 

 

PiONEer Nation

I am not one that has ever had a lack of school spirit, but I seriously underestimated just how much I could have. In high school, the boys' cross country team won a state championship and that was pretty exciting. Yet, it was nothing like this.

For those of you that haven't heard, DU men's lacrosse has just won the National Championship. This is the first time in history that the title has left the east coast. And it's a huge deal. DU is known for having a good hockey team, but we are no longer just a hockey school and lacrosse is no longer just an east coast sport.

I like to think that I have a special tie to the program (and all athletics at this school) because of my job as a sports reporter. I had the huge pleasure of interviewing 5 of our best lacrosse players (Wes Berg, Zach Miller, Ryan Laplante, and Connor and Sean Cannizzaro) and seeing everything they have accomplished this season just makes it that much cooler that I have been following them from the beginning. The sad part is our paper is done running for the year so I wasn't able to cover the championship for the school, but that has given me more time to treasure the win.

I am not friends with any of the players and some students at DU have probably never even spoken to them, but I love that this is completely irrelevant. Something like this has the power to bring together an entire campus full of different people and turn them into a family. The team did all of the hard work; the rest of us have just cheered them on, but somehow I still feel as if we are all sharing in the victory.

I've believed in my heart that DU is the greatest place on earth since I showed up here on August 31st. Now, I feel like other people might just be realizing how great DU is. The Denver Broncos tweeted about us, The New York Times mentioned us, our campus was featured on Yik Yak, the Championship was live on Snapchat, and the list goes on. It is just so insanely cool that my school accomplished something so great and is receiving so much recognition.

Honestly, in high school I could not have cared less about lacrosse. Even at DU, hockey was always number one to me (and still is). Lacrosse is probably the sport I know the least about, aside from maybe cricket and polo. Regardless, I know these guys and I know the coach and I love this place just as much as the rest of them. Basking in the glory of a national championship with my favorite people in my favorite place could not be any sweeter.

1 in 4

I am sure some of you have seen this, but for those who haven't: take a look at this picture.

This smiley man wore this shirt to Coachella. I am not sure if he thinks he is being funny or clever by making a play on Fatboy Slim's "Eat, Sleep, Rave, Repeat", but that shirt clearly says "RAPE" and he is not even close to being funny.

April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month. It is great that this is a nationally recognized thing, but the fact that rape and sexual assault are universal and not particularly uncommon is just disgusting. Rape is one of the longest existing and most frequently occurring crimes in human history. I can't imagine how to make it stop, but it needs to. 

The University of Denver has many initiatives trying to combat sexual assault and rape on campus. I commend the university for putting things in place. One of the campaigns is "Consent is Sexy". I have a delightful pajama shirt that says this. It is a pretty simple concept if you ask me. "NO" is not consent. Being intoxicated is not consent. Trying to resist is not consent. Get with it. Also, learn your definitions. Rape is not exclusively sexual intercourse. No consent+any undesired penetration=rape.  

"One in four college women report surviving rape or attempted rape at some point in their lifetime." (http://www.oneinfourusa.org/statistics.php) 

1 in 4. That is way, way too many. 25% of college women will be raped or almost raped. That means that in my circle of closest friends, one of us will fall victim to a rapist. I pray to God none of us will but this statistic is still terrifying. 

What is the point of having a blog if I'm not trying to help the world or raise awareness? Stay educated and make good decisions. Please.

Jacquizz

On April Fool's Day, I was lucky to become an "aunt". I say "aunt" because technically, we are cousins, but I am going to be everything to this little boy that his mom has been to me. For that reason, it's Auntie Carolyn.

Over spring break, I traveled to Washington D.C. to hopefully welcome little Jacquizz into the world. Unfortunately, he wasn't early and I wasn't there when he was born. At least the quality time with my aunt and uncle was absolutely wonderful. The little guy came over a week late. He actually is not little all, weighing in at 10 pounds, 3 ounces. He has the chubbiest cheeks I've ever seen. I'm super bummed out that I can't be there to see him and meet him. I guess I will have to be patient.

Oh, I should probably explain the Jacquizz thing. His name is actually Ryan, but before he was born he was nicknamed Jacquizz after a football player on my aunt's fantasy team. It' s totally amusing, but the poor kid will probably be called Jacquizz for awhile. Let's be honest, I'll probably still call him that when he's 30, but only when I want to annoy him.

I haven't even met the kid but I have never felt such love for any baby before. There haven't been too many babies in my family and I was young when my other cousins were born. I guess that explains why he is the background on my phone. I simply cannot wait to know and love this little boy.

Ryan, hopefully the Internet is still a thing in 10 years and I'll be able to show you this post. Granted, when you're 10 you'll probably think it's stupid, but I'll love you anyway.

Warriors

Sometimes I listen to podcasts for fun and a few months ago I listened to one about happiness. A speaker revealed the true key to happiness. He said, "The key to happiness is low expectations."

There is a lot of truth in this statement. If you have low expectations, it becomes almost impossible to be disappointed. I'm definitely feeling a lot of disappointment right now. Occasionally I wish that I had no expectations for life or for love. How easy would things be if I didn't expect to find my true love? I guess it would probably save a lot of heartbreak, but it would also take away a lot of happiness.

I'm often pretty hard on myself for being so emotional. I am well aware that I fall very hard and very fast. Heck, after losing a guy that I have only known for three days or three weeks I spend the night in tears. It would sure be way easier if I wasn't so emotional. It all comes back to expectations. If I expected these little college flings to amount to nothing, I wouldn't be so surprised or hurt when they fail. If I didn't expect each "perfect" guy to be "the one" then I wouldn't be so upset when they inevitably let me down.

It seems like it is always too good to be true. Except one day it won't be. One day, reality will be as good as my dreams. Last night I was almost ready to just give up on love entirely. I realize how extreme that is but a devastated girl will often go to extremes. But me giving up on love would be like me giving up on breathing. Loving is essential to who I am. As many times as I get burned, I could not stop loving if I tried.

The good news here is that my friends are the easiest people to love. Honest to God, I would be lost without my friends. Last night was the roughest night I have had in awhile. One friend heard me bawling in the other room and ran to me. Another held me while I cried. Another made me laugh my ass off. Another stood up for me when I was powerless. Another let me walk in to her room, no questions asked. Even friends that are states away were there for me. This isn't the first time either. Any time there is a bump in my road, my friends carry me over it.

Not to be cheesy (although I do love cheese), but love really is a battlefield. My girls are my warriors. I would surely lose the battle without them. There is no one else I would rather have by my side as I take on this crazy world.

Since last night, there has been one quote that has been sticking out in my mind. It is one of my favorites of all time and I have probably used this Carrie quote before, but it is too fitting to not use here.

From one writer to another: "Maybe our girlfriends are our soulmates and guys are just people to have fun with."

We have to be warriors, but an army of one will never win. That is why I will continue to rely on the women I love when I am too weak to carry my own sword.

Team Spirit to the Max

When I decided to come to DU, I was a little upset. Ya see, I love football. It has been my favorite sport forever. I dreamed of the days when I would get to sit outside at a football stadium and watch my college team do some damage. DU doesn't have a football team and I was appalled that I would be attending a football-less university. I never imagined that I would love college hockey way more than I ever loved college football.

Since the beginning of the season, I have been pretty dedicated to this team. The dedication may be from the fact that I am a reporter and it is kind of in my job description to keep tabs on our most prevalent (sorry lacrosse) team. It can also probably be attributed to the fact that I fangirl way too hard over sports teams (Exhibit A: my undying devotion to Troy Polamalu). There have been very few home games where I have not been sitting on the boards, banging on the glass. Even for the CC games, I got to Magness an hour and a half early just to get those seats. There wasn't even any question about it either. The only time I was not on the boards was when I was in the press box. As awesome as the press box is, there is no doubt that I would rather be on the boards with my best friends.

Last night was probably the greatest hockey game I have ever seen live. It was senior night, which was a very emotional time for me for reasons I will not post on the internet. In the first period, we scored 4 goals. It was the most thrilling hockey experience ever. The fact that this team that I love so much was destroying the 4th best team in the country was just surreal. To be honest, I'm surprised that I have a voice today after screaming "JOEY!" and "1-9" so much.

DU is seriously the greatest place on Earth, maybe even better than Disneyland, although I can't say that for sure. Aside from my friends, this hockey team is probably the top reason why I love this school so much. Clearly, DU is going to be in the playoffs. I would not be surprised one bit if we won the Frozen Four. I know just how good this team is...from our freshman goalie to our senior defensive superstar. The fact that last night was the last home game of the season just breaks my heart. Knowing that 7 of our amazing players have to graduate and leave makes me unbelievably sad, even though only one of them might know my name. By the way, 3 of the 7 have been drafted by the NHL. Yeah, that's pretty impressive.

DU always gets quite a bit of shit for not having enough team spirit or school pride, but this girl has enough of both to go around.

40 Days and 40 Nights

It's Ash Wednesday! Ash Wednesday is a very interesting day in the Catholic Church. Symbolism and tradition abound, but the reason I like Ash Wednesday is because it marks the beginning of change. Lent is a sad season, but things are changing and something great is on its way. 

It is tradition to give something up for Lent, just as Jesus gave up his life for us. This year, I am doing something way different and way more challenging than usual. My best friend, Julie, and I are going to be putting ourselves on the Paleo diet. Yup. It is going to be one of the most difficult challenges in self-control ever. No grains. No pasta. No potatoes. No dairy. No peanuts. No refined sugar. No processed anything. Basically, the two of us will be eating fish, meat, fruits, vegetables, eggs, nuts, and natural sweeteners. Of course, on Fridays we will be on the Bunny diet since we cannot eat meat and will have to resort to carrots and celery.

I am actually really excited for this Lent. When it comes to food, I basically have no self control at all. It's pretty terrible. Luckily I'm not 400 pounds, but I have a weak spot for chocolate and ice cream and french fries. Learning how to really control what I eat will definitely help me be more healthy in the long run. Also, I think about food quite often and now whenever I get hungry or want some pizza, I'll think of God instead. It's a win-win.  

I always had the expectation that going away to college would lessen my faith. I never imagined that my faith would become 10 times strong at a University. Maybe it's because I need God more or maybe it's because I am surrounded by so many incredible Catholics that I love a lot. Either way, I'm excited for these next 40 days and all the sacrifice, cleansing, and change they will bring. 

Full Speed Ahead

Second quarter has been incredibly difficult, way more difficult than I would have expected. In the next 7 days, I have an exam in every single class. This next week is going to be hell. The good news is that this quarter is over in 3 weeks. Then I get to travel to DC and when I come back, my schedule will be so much better.

This morning I registered for my 3rd quarter of college classes. I will be taking Italian 3, Organic Chemistry 2, Hard Choices in Public Policy, and Honors Writing. OChem 2 is definitely not going to be a walk in the park, but I figure only being in one hard science class is a step up from being in two. I will be in two Honors classes next quarter so that will be pretty tough, but they are mostly writing based and I like to think that I am good at writing. Hard Choices in Public Policy is a class that is taught by Richard Lamm, the former governor of Colorado. It's not everyday you get to learn about politics from a governor so I am beyond excited. I am even more excited that I will have no classes on Friday! I also don't start classes until 12pm on Mondays. It is definitely going to be a good quarter.

It blows my mind that it is almost time for quarter 3. The year is over halfway done. Part of me feels like I just got to DU and the other part of me can hardly remember what life was like without DU. Things have been moving fast and they are definitely not slowing down anytime soon.

Love is in the Air

Valentine's Day is a holiday for couples. It is all about the man buying the woman flowers and chocolate, there's usually a nice dinner involved, and maybe a screening of 50 Shades of Grey if you're into that. I know many people that feel like shit on Valentine's Day because they are single. Thankfully, I'm not one of them.

Valentine's Day can be about couples, but it is more about love. This is the first Valentine's Day in 3 years where I am "single". Yes, I am "single" but I am not alone. Not even close. I received so many cards and packages from my incredible family. I am surrounded by so many amazing friends that love me so much, and I love them too. "Single" or not, there is definitely no shortage of love. Valentine's Day shouldn't be about only a significant other, it's about love. It takes many forms and it is everywhere. Just look around.

One Step At A Time

My levels of stress have been insanely high these last few weeks. It might be a record. I am always running, just not at the gym because I don't have time for that anymore. 3 days a week I am out of my dorm from 7:30 am until at least 6:00pm. I am taking Organic Chemistry and University Physics, also known as the hardest classes I have ever taken before. Not to mention my two other classes that I have basically been neglecting in the name of science. I have more homework and studying to do than ever before. I'm still volunteering in that psychology lab and I'm still writing for the school paper. I'm averaging 6 hours of sleep a night. 6 hours for a girl that is in love with sleep and has consistently had at least 8 hours a night for the majority of her life.

Then there's the trying to enjoy myself part of life, which is becoming less and less with every day. The first weekend back, I was able to go skiing, but last weekend I had to tell my friend no even though there was nothing I would love more. Winter Carnival at Keystone is next weekend, but right now I don't even know how I am possibly going to be able to enjoy myself. The entire time I will probably just be thinking about all the physics and chemistry I should be doing instead. To top it all off, there are so many adorable boys at this school which are nothing but a distraction, but I can't really help myself.

There have been so many moments in these last two weeks where I have questioned what I am even doing. I feel hopeless most of the time because I start to think I'm not even good at science. Plus, if this is difficult then med school is going to kick my ass. If I had $1 for every time I wished that my classes were easier or $1 for every time I wished that I had just been a Journalism major instead because it would be so much easier, this education would be almost paid off by now.

Honestly, it feels like I'm drowning. I've never been this challenged in my life and I have never been this exhausted either. Usually if I study for a test all weekend (like I did for OChem) then an A is basically guaranteed...apparently things don't work like this anymore.

To top it all off, I totally freak myself out. I haven't even received my graded OChem test yet and I haven't even taken the physics one yet, but I've just convinced myself that it's going to be hard so I'm going to fail and I won't get As in my science class and my GPA will tank and then I won't get into med school and I'll live on the street, because obviously anyone that isn't a doctor is poor. I fully recognize that I make things way worse for myself when I have a bad attitude like this.

For the next days, weeks, months, years, I just have to think about what is immediately happening. Getting caught up worrying about med school 3 years from now is just making me paranoid. I've got to slow down.

Breathe. Work. Power through.

Even better, I know exactly what they are trying to do. OChem and physics are supposed to be hard and painful and ego destroying. Most people aren't supposed to make it through these courses. They're designed to scare people and knock people out. If it was easy, then everyone would do it. I'm not going to be scared off that easily.

Text Me, Maybe?

The dating game is not a very easy one. In today's world, it is even more difficult. I'm not going to complain about how guys don't bring flowers or open the car door or any of that stuff, because that's annoying and not even entirely true. What is true is that texting a crush is such a difficult and intensive task.

Let's say you get a guy's number. It doesn't matter if you gave him yours or if he gave you his. You have his number. The who-should-text-first struggle is completely real. Should you text him first? If you don't text him first then you might never hear from him at all and that would be sad. But if you text him first then maybe you are showing too much interest which is also bad, right? So you don't text him. Or he doesn't text you.

But let's say somehow you start texting. How long do you wait to answer? Should you answer as soon as you see it? I very rarely wait by the phone but I just always have my phone with me and I usually notice when I get a text as soon as I get it. But how tragic would it be if he thought you were waiting by the phone, so you wait to answer instead. The question remains, how long do you wait? 5 minutes? 15 minutes? A few hours? I honestly have no idea. Good thing I'm too impatient to play that waiting game. 

Alright so now there's a full conversation happening. Smiley face :) or emoji? Hey, hi, or hello? What's up or how are you? Who leads the conversation? Should you just talk like a normal person? What even is a normal person? Beats me. Can you send more than one message in a row? When does the conversation die? Do you just stop responding? Forced conversation is the worst conversation. 

Let's change the situation. You have a great date or a great night or a fun day with a guy/girl. How long do you have to wait before you reach out after that time together? How I Met Your Mother said 3 days. I'm a terribly impatient person. 3 days is like an eternity. But the girl isn't supposed to text first, so we have to wait. At least for awhile. Because maybe he didn't have as much fun as you did, so you sit around waiting to hear from him instead.

I know I probably sound like a psycho right now but I am still new at this dating game. I realize how completely idiotic this whole thing is. If you want to talk to someone, then you should talk to them. Plain and simple. Except it's not. 

Maybe I'll give up on the waiting game and just go for it...but I can guarantee that my best friends will always read that first message before I press send. 

FOMO No More

Last quarter, I pretty much had the biggest case of FOMO ever. The Fear of Missing Out was oh so real. If my friends were going out, then I had to go with them. I'd text so many people trying to find a party to go to or something to do. Spending a Friday or Saturday night doing homework might as well have been the end of my social life forever. I refused to stay in. I needed to go out. I'd say maybe 50% of the nights I enjoyed myself and the other 50% I didn't. It was just a toss up, but that was a risk I thought I had to take.

This quarter is a completely different ball game. I passed on the hockey game to have dinner with my uncle, aunt, and their friends. Then after that, I got some much need physics help. I spent two and a half hours studying on a Friday night and honestly, it was a great choice. I seriously needed help. I guess you could say that I am in a serious relationship with physics.

Now it's barely midnight and I am going to catch up on some much needed sleep. Now the only fear I have is the Fear of Missing Sleep. Goodnight and you party animals have fun, but don't do anything too stupid.

Girl's Best Friend

7 and a half years ago, I happened to find the cutest and most wonderful puppy. Months before, my childhood dog, Shelby, died right around my 10th birthday. It was a pretty crappy birthday. After much begging and pleading, Noni and Popi finally agreed to let me get a new dog. My mom and I spent an entire day touring Chicagoland's animal shelters. Our last stop was the Naperville Animal Shelter. I saw this adorable 6 month old puppy with big, floppy ears sitting in a pen and the poor little girl looked so scared. I called my mom over and we asked the lady working if we could play with her. Mom and I sat down in a little room and as soon as this puppy came in she ran and jumped right into my mom's lap. The little stinker is a genius if you ask me. There was no way we could walk away from her after a greeting like that.

I remember the first day we had Cassie home. I had a softball game and I was putting on my socks she tried to steal one and run away with it. She has always been a trouble maker. On my 13th birthday, my mom made me a pineapple cake and Cassie jumped onto the kitchen chair and then onto the table and took a huge bite out of the cake. Good thing she's adorable or she'd be so easy to be mad at.

I always say that being away from family is hard, but being away from your dog is just as hard. You can talk to family on the phone or Skype them or text them...but you can't cuddle a puppy through the phone. I wish I was in Palatine to take my pup for a birthday walk followed by a birthday treat and a birthday cuddle...unfortunately, that can't happen. I know my baby can't read this, but I had to share her awesomeness with the world.

Cassie/Cassie Doodle/Cassandra Dee/Superdog/Sissy/Princess Pup, I love you and Happy 8th Birthday!

This picture is from 2010 when Cassie was only 3 years old.

Take Two

The best part about being back at school is definitely seeing my friends, but I guess classes have to happen too. 

My day started bright and early with Organic Chemistry at 8am. My professor is this adorable Indian man that could be a little scary but he seems like an excellent teacher. He's one of those no-nonsense type of guys. No technology, no talking, no textbooks. He seems to know exactly what he is doing. He doesn't assign any homework either. This could either be great or terrible, I guess we'll just see how it goes. 

My next class is in the same room and it is University (calculus-based) Physics. I took Physics in high school but it didn't exactly go very well. OChem and UPhys are like black and white. OChem is a lot of lecture with no quizzes, homework, textbooks, or clickers. UPhys is quizzes, lots of homework, textbook readings, and clicking. My UPhys professor is a Sam Claflin-esque adorable German guy. At the very least, physics will be fun because of that. 

The other class I had today was Italian. I have the same teacher this quarter and the same partner. Italian will be my little safety blanket class because I know exactly what to expect. 

The other class I am taking is Abnormal Psychology which I am super excited for. I had to throw in one super fun class to balance out the difficulty of my science classes.

As for right now, I have to get ready to go to Organic Chemistry lab. 

Here's to hoping that this quarter is as successful as the last one was!

Bleeding Black and Yellow

I could be writing about how great it is to be back at DU right now, but last night was too tragic. Wild Card weekend put the Kings of the AFC North to bed...that is not something this girl can take lightly.

It is insane how much this upsets me. I am well aware that football really is just a game, but somehow it is something more. For me, it's the Steelers. For others, it's the Broncos or the Bears or even Alabama (ew). I take my football very seriously and I know so many people who are die-hard for their teams too. Why does it matter so much? When the Steelers won the AFC North, I was on top of the world. When they lost last night, I was heartbroken.

The thing is I feel as if I am a part of the Steelers family even though not one of the players or coaches even know that I exist. My extensive nicknames for the players is evidence of how attached I am: my baby Troy, my little cave man, ABs, Shaunie boy.... It's pretty crazy how important these guys are to me and them losing is just devastating. This is the only logical explanation for why we care so deeply about college and pro sports. We become attached to the players and when they are sad, we are sad. I bet that's why these losses are so hard to swallow. People will argue with me but I really think they are the best team in the league because I know what they are capable of. Last night's game against the Ravens was not the Steelers that I know and love. That was some other much crappier team.

There might be an even bigger loss at hand. Troy Polamalu just completed his 12th season in the NFL and there has been a lot of talk about how he is too old for this game. This may have been his last season. His contract is up, his health and quickness isn't what it once was. There has also been talk recently about how the team might be better off without him. I can't believe this because I firmly believe that he is one of the greatest defensive players of our time. The Steelers will still be great without him, but there is absolutely no doubt that he has made this team beyond great. Most importantly, he made me fall in love with the Pittsburgh Steelers. For that, I am eternally grateful.

Troy might be done, but the Steelers are never done. With talent like Antonio Brown, Martavis Bryant, and Le'Veon Bell (among many others), #7 can't be too far away.